Stay away from the Chantico

Malleable soul that I am, I knew I just had try Starbuck's fancy new hot chocolate, which their marketing department thought fit to christen "Chantico" after reading Daniel Gross' description of it on his blog.

Starbucks’ new thick, dense chocolate drink is a winner. It’s like an espresso,
but gentler and without the bitter aftertaste. As the wave of sugar and caffeine
seeps into your system, you can feel a sense of well-being wash over you.

He had me at "it's like an expresso", but with chocolate! So, with my knitting in a tow, I forsaked my local coffee house (the excellent Raos, if you're ever in Amherst, Mass) and moseyed on down to Starbucks and paid my $2.90 for a "Chantico". I took a sip from the tastefully embossed brown paper cup. Ugh! It was indeed thick and dense, but in a sludgy rather than luxurious way. And even though I like my hot chocolate sweet, this was sugary to the point of parching one's throat as the goopy, muddy mix goes down.

Oh, Daniel Gross. You columns on Business and Money on Slate is so well-written and incisive. Even your new blog is amusing. How could you have steered me so wrong?