Decline and fall of the Red Delicious

Believe it or not, I remember the days back when the Red Delicious was me and my Grandma's favorite apple. They were marketed as "five clawed" apples in Asia because of the prominent bumps on their blossom end. The sticker proclaiming that the fruit came all the way from Washington made it seem so exotic. My grandma would take off all the gross red peel and divide the fruit up into little slices. Unlike other apples, they were perfumed, sweet and devoid of tartness, a little pulpy rather than crunchy.

Now I don't touch them because I know they're assured to be tough yet mealy. Not much better than chowing down on a dense, wet ball of cotton. They still look lovely and red, but are more than likely to be green under the skin and to give up their astringent juices only begrudgingly. In the words of Ann Althouse: "It had to harden and, doing so, lost all its charm." I don't agree with her often, but in this case, she hit the nail on the head.