Battlepanda: Surrealism in Journalism


Always trying to figure things out with the minimum of bullshit and the maximum of belligerence.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Surrealism in Journalism

As is customary after an interview, especially a lengthy one, I asked the public health researchers I met with yesterday whether they were working on anything else that might be good for a story later on.

"Well, do you want to tell her about the shoes?" said one professor to another.

"Maybe another time. I could not explain it in less than twenty-five minutes."

"What about the shoes?" I asked.

"Oh, it's very interesting. Once you have heard it you will never wear shoes the same size you're wearing now ever again."

"Professor W. never wears anything less than five sizes bigger."

"No, no. Three sizes bigger is plenty."

I looked down at W's feet. I noticed for the first time that under his grey suit he was wearing a giant, puffy pair of white sneakers, the kind with a row of velcro fastenings instead of laces.

"Big shoes are no more expensive than smaller shoes, you know," he said, smiling, "so this is a change everybody could make without breaking the bank."

I tried in vain to get him to tell quickly me why he thinks its better to wear giant shoes, but he merely smiled and said that our time is up and he could not possibly explain in less than twenty five minutes.

And no, this happened yesterday, not Sunday, so this is presumably not an April fools.