Battlepanda: Hu-Obama Battle Rap


Always trying to figure things out with the minimum of bullshit and the maximum of belligerence.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Hu-Obama Battle Rap

Hi guys. Long time no blog. See, I have been too busy over the past year bringing you the LOLs as a part of the NMA team.

But this is something I have to share with y'all on the ol' Battlepanda blog because being a blogger is how I first got interested in politics and started paying attention to economic issues and international affairs and all that good stuff. Without this blog, I would never have written...the Hu-Obama battle rap.

U.S.-China Currency Rap*
(By Angelica Oung, Richard Hazeldine, Emily Wu with music by Shen-Yi and Action Zero)

Hu/Obama: We're both superpower economies
caught up in a battle over monetary policy
Hu: For social stability, we've got to export
Obama: And we're sick of being the consumers of last resort.

Obama: Times are hard in the U.S.A.
Listen up Hu, I've got something to say.
Help us out, you know what I'm talking about,
the RMB's too low without a doubt.

Now I ain't sayin' you're a currency manipulator,
but you ain't lettin' the Yuan float...float.
Protectionism ain't cool it's understood;
an undervalued Yuan inflates the price of US goods.

My dogs in the IMF are on my side,
we'll wag our fingers 'til you do right.
Until then won't you get some sense,
and stop beating up on Nobel-winning dissidents.

Hu: Shut up fool, you spin ain't genuine,
if the RMB goes up, your exports still can't win!
From the Mao to the Deng to the Jiang to the Hu,
you think you can keep on telling us what to do?

And the Nobel Peace Prize, ain't all that son,
even you've got one and what have you done?
Now the shit's gone down I'm gonna make it rain,
Norway, get ready for a smorgasbord of pain.

You're the one to blame for the great recession
so don't come round looking for concessions.
You're in no position to call me a sinner,
without Bretton Woods, you'd be Argentina!

NMA Anchor Girls: They're not enemies, but frenemies
with co-dependent economies.
For stability, China's gotta export,
and the US is the buyer of last resort.

Obama: That's right we're the world's reserve currency,
in times of uncertainty, they all want USDs.
So what if our fiscal picture's discombobulated?
The world's resources are dollar denominated.

And we paid with IOUs so if what you say is true
when the dollar crashes, what you gonna do?
And won't you learn to make toys without lead?
I bought your bargain kibbles and now Trixie's dead.

We're through with being polite!
We're getting ready for a fight!
Ma man Timmy G is gonna set you right.
*Go Timmy! Go Timmy! Go Timmy! Go Timmaaaaaaay!*

Hu: It's a trade war fool, forget your guns and rockets.
We've got it where it counts and that's money in our pockets.
Don't talk smack 'cos China's striking back.
We're gonna keep stacking those Wal-Mart racks.

Soon the Dollar will be out and the Yuan will be in.
Nothing will will stop the dollar's long-term downward trend.
But since for now employment is our top concern,
we'll keep the Yuan cheap until the economy turns.

Don't try to stop us, it ain't realistic.
Don't believe me? Read the statistic.
Capitalism is socialistic,
if you do it with Chinese characteristics.

NMA Anchor girls sing X3

*Some of the lyrics were slightly different in performance...I've given the lyrics as it was written.