Why aren't our children fungible?

Imagine the possibilities...

Mommy: Little Jimmy, I'm afraid you're incurring costs well beyond what our analysis predicted. And you're not exactly on track towards achieving your productivity goals.

L'il Jimmy: Urg?

Daddy: What we're saying, Jimmy, is that although Mommy and Daddy loves you very much, we're seriously considering the possiblity of liquidating some child-based assets for cash.

Jimmy: Jimmy wan' candee.

Mommy: Oh Dad, do we really have to do it? The sunk-cost is breaking my heart! Can't we send him to a boarding school? The tuition will be more than covered by the savings on wear-and-tear on our house and our nerves.

Daddy: It'll be for the best, Mom. Jimmy's more kid than we can handle. How about trading him in for a more managable pre-potty trained model?

Commenter John also wants Bonsai babies so he can keep them at the 'cute' stage of development.