Battlepanda: Why aren't our children fungible?


Always trying to figure things out with the minimum of bullshit and the maximum of belligerence.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Why aren't our children fungible?

Imagine the possibilities...

Mommy: Little Jimmy, I'm afraid you're incurring costs well beyond what our analysis predicted. And you're not exactly on track towards achieving your productivity goals.

L'il Jimmy: Urg?

Daddy: What we're saying, Jimmy, is that although Mommy and Daddy loves you very much, we're seriously considering the possiblity of liquidating some child-based assets for cash.

Jimmy: Jimmy wan' candee.

Mommy: Oh Dad, do we really have to do it? The sunk-cost is breaking my heart! Can't we send him to a boarding school? The tuition will be more than covered by the savings on wear-and-tear on our house and our nerves.

Daddy: It'll be for the best, Mom. Jimmy's more kid than we can handle. How about trading him in for a more managable pre-potty trained model?

Commenter John also wants Bonsai babies so he can keep them at the 'cute' stage of development.