Battlepanda: Too cute to go extinct


Always trying to figure things out with the minimum of bullshit and the maximum of belligerence.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Too cute to go extinct

August J. Pollak marvels at the continual survival of the pandakind:

Animal Planet had a special on this weekend about the birth of Butterstick, the baby panda at the National Zoo. As many of you know, the big thing about giant pandas isn't just that they're adorable, it's that they're a very, very endangered species. Well, unlike elephants and other species who are hunted by poachers and devestated by the ever-approaching acts of humans, the Animal Planet special cast a light on the true reason giant pandas are actually endangered in this world: they are, in fact, the stupidest creatures on the face of the earth.

And it's not even that they're just stupid; they're woefully inefficient as creatures in general. Combined, that they still exist is a testament not to the panda, but to us humans. Allow me to explain.

And explain he does in great detail. Indeed, pandas are a triumph of cuteness over fitness. But they're not the only creatures using this survival strategy.Image hosted by
Fierce as the creature is, she will not last five minutes in the wilderness. Her dog's pretty wimpy too.