Battlepanda: Insurge-o-rays


Always trying to figure things out with the minimum of bullshit and the maximum of belligerence.

Saturday, March 11, 2006


Jim Henley takes a look at a plan by a couple of MIT professors to avert an Iraqi civil war. Henley thinks he has a better plan:
I have an even better plan, better because it has only one point: a new generation of weaponry based on deadly Insurge-o-Rays. Insurge-o-Ray weapons will kill foreign fighters and irregular fighters genuinely bent on overthrowing Iraq's central government while leaving peaceable Iraqis unmolested. This works because Insurge-o-Rays cause a quantum disruption in the neurons of the brain's "rebellion center" (Medulla L'Ouverture) when and only when the atoms of the medulla l’ouverture fluoresce with violent, insurrectionist impulses. Because Insurge-o-Rays use a part of the spectrum to which the brain’s Islets of Publius (the portion associated with constructive political engagement) are invisible, Iraqi troops armed with Insurge-o-Ray weapons could be trusted to keep order in any part of the country.
And I've got an even better plan. We avert an Iraqi civil war with Insurge-o-rays, and everybody gets a pony.

On a more serious note, Henley writes:
This is the dilemma of every impulse to be "helpful" about the Iraq situation. All approaches are so unpromising that continuing to offer them at all, if you lack genuine power, perpetuates the illusion that the decisions of those with genuine power haven’t put us in an irredeemable situation.
Well said.

(Via Sifu Tweety.)