Battlepanda: Social advice for new college freshmen


Always trying to figure things out with the minimum of bullshit and the maximum of belligerence.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Social advice for new college freshmen

In my last post, I offered some academic advice to new college freshmen; in this post, I'll offer a bit of social advice.

My first bit of advice is intended for straight men. There may be some analog that is applicable for straight women, gay men, or lesbians, but I don't know what it is.

Always be really nice to the women in your class. They're taking notes on your behavior, and they're sharing them. If you make a total jackass of yourself, you'll that find your pool of potential dates will shrink drastically.

My second bit of advice is more generally applicable, but for straight men, this bit of advice relates back to my first.

Your freshman year of college will probably be the first time in your life that you've had pretty much unrestricted access to alcohol, so you probably don't know how much you can handle. Take it easy on the booze until you've figured this out. Straight men should note that consuming more alcohol that you can handle makes it more likely that you will make a total jackass of yourself, and so find your dating pool drastically shrunk.

For example, if you consume most of a fifth of Absolut vodka, and then throw up in the social room of the freshman women's dorm, you will never live it down, and you will probably be relegated to dating women who go to some other college in the same town.

Trust me on this.