Chimps don't make good pets

Unless you're Dick Cheney

Hilzoy points out what should really be obvious. Until we can genetically engineer monkeys so that they remain in the cute, tractable juvenile phase, we should not be keeping them as pets. In fact, it is such a bad idea to keep them as pets that we should have laws restricting this stupidity. And I say this as someone whose generally against laws protecting people from their own stupidity.

Maybe it's because I've spent time with monkies up close and personal in Malaysia, where they are perennual pe(s)ts. I was foolish enough to approach one on a chain so that I can get a better picture. It meekly allowed me to get close until it judged the chain it was tied to is long enough for it to reach me, then bolted for my leg and chomped down hard. I was left with a perfectly circular bruise ringed by the teethmarks of the monkey and dark purple within. If I had not been wearing heavy jeans, that cute little monkey would have taken a chunk right out of me.