SMMMHDS

Fitting in with Angelica's description of me as a Catholic and hater of bad music, here's an amusing link for all the Catholics, lapsed or otherwise, out there: Society for a Moratorium on the Music of Marty Haugen and David Hass. According to the site, "Your are a de facto member of the Society if you gag or grit your teeth whenever you hear any of the following: 1. Come to the Feast 2. Gather Us In 3. Sing out, Earth and Skies" Count me in. The parodies on the site are quite amusing as well:

Gather us in, the disheartened faithful, force fed a watered-down liturgy.
Gone are the hymns that point us toward heaven- courtesy of the OCP.*

If I had pow'rs of telecombustion,the songbook I hold would burst into
flame. Judging by those around me - not singing, everyone else here feels just
the same.
REFRAIN
I envy the deaf who can't hear this music; I envy the mute who don't have
to sing. I might "sing a new church into being" if I knew just what the hell
that means.
REFRAIN
If I must hear this music much longer, I fear that I will surely puke. Two-thousand years of church music history, flushed down the john by Haas, Haugen, and Schutte.
REFRAIN

And if you know Don Schutte's "City of God," you'll probably also enjoy the parody "Let Us Sing a Ditty to God." It seems as though most Catholic churches in the country use the same few sets of hymns because I remember spontaneous singing sessions with lapsed Catholic college friends (it was kind of amazing how many of the words they all remembered). Thomas Day's Why Catholics Can't Sing is also a recommended read if you're of the SMMMHDS persuasion; he points out, for instance, that parts of "Here I Am, Lord" have a remarkable similarity to the Brady Bunch theme song ...

I do find it depressing that so many Catholic churches use this drivel, when there is a history of beautiful music for the Catholic liturgy. Sadly, you're probably more likely to find Gregorian chant accompanying yoga than a Catholic mass.

*Oregon Catholic Press